Stop and Smell the HOLIDAYS!!

Have you taken the time to sit down and plan out your Holiday season? 

I'm not talking about an uber-structured work schedule.   I mean your PLAY schedule!   Especially for those of you who have chosen to work in retail like I have.   Or those of you in health care or any other 'we never close' profession.

If you've worked this type of job at Christmas,  even for just a few years,  you know what I'm talking about.   You can plow through each day at 100 mph and wake up on January 2nd,  only to realize that you missed the whole thing!  And believe me it is very easy to let that happen! 

So here is what I suggest.   Take an hour or so now.   Yes,  I mean right now.   Give yourself a Barnes & Noble moment with your planner,  your thoughts, and a great beverage.  Starting with today's date,  write in your work schedule,  then look at each day and find places in your schedule to carve out time to enjoy the Holidays!  It can be difficult to plan entire days at a time for holiday merriment,  when all you want to do is be off of your feet,  so let me make this easy!  

1.  Make sure you have the appropriate coffee,  tea,  champagne,  wine,  etc already in your home.   Maybe you can send someone to run that errand for you?  Just a thought.

2.  Look at the days when you are working.   Do you work a late shift?   Then plan a breakfast with your family or a friend before you go in.   You'll feel Christmasy all day!

3.  Are you working early?   How much time do you get for lunch?   Get a coffee and go for a walk around your mall or shopping center.   Bundle up and enjoy the decorations! 

4.  Turn your Christmas tree lights on the second you get home!   Even before taking your shoes off!   If you're by yourself,  fix your dinner and drink and enjoy it while sitting by the tree!   And play some music that you love!  

5.  Set aside a few hours to wrap your presents all at once!    Be sure all of your supplies, boxes,  wrapping paper,  bags,  tape,  etc are right where you need them.   Pour yourself a drink,  put on some Christmas music or watch some holiday TV and wrap away!   I was surprised at how much fun I had wrapping gifts while enjoying a little bubbly!

6.  Wear Christmas pajamas all season!   I get myself some new ones every year.   Sometimes dressy and sometimes tacky,  but always comfy and warm.   Soft fuzzy slippers are also essential!

7.  Are you and your partner passing each other in the hallway working opposite schedules?   Plan 20 minutes or so when you can sit by the tree together and just talk!   No agenda,  just a chat with the person you are closest to.   

8.  Take a bubble bath rather than a quick shower.   Yes,  hour long bubble baths are exquisite,  but the 10 minute ones are great too!  Give yourself that little gift!

9.  Take all the beautiful little time outs that you possibly can!   Even if it's 5, 10, or 15 minutes here and there.  Those little bits of time are very important!

10.  The most important step of all,,,
SCHEDULE EVERYTHING THAT YOU POSSIBLY CAN!  Write it into your planner.  Keep your planner with you at all times.  (Coaching moment:  there is no excuse to not have your calendar,  planner,  schedule with you unless you're on a hot date with Brad Pitt)  You need your planner with you to know where you're going next.  Especially during the Holidays.

These scheduled joyful moments are essential to our happiness - and mental health - this time of year.   Do what you can to find and enjoy every moment of the Holiday Season.  On January 2nd,  you'll thank me!

Merry Christmas to you,  my friend!

Love, 
Donna

Gratitude and Appreciation (10-25-17)

Are you having a good day, my friend?  I sure hope so.  I am about to introduce you to a way to take even the most horrible day and turn it around into - at least a little - ray of sunshine!

It's been written about more times that you want to read, and there is a reason for that.  It's because it's true.  When you live a life filled with gratitude and appreciation, you will always feel better about anything that is happening in your life.

I've told you this before and I'm telling you again now, EVERYTHING IS ENERGY.  And when you put good energy out there, you get good energy back.  And that is not my opinion, it is a scientific fact.  I'm going to acknowledge and thank Katherine Hurst for the following information:

1.  As far back as 391 BC, Greek philosopher Plato noted that "likes tend toward likes."
2.  Positive thinking has support in Medical Journals.  The Yonsei Medical Journal in 2007 published that positive thinking is an approach designed to promote life satisfaction.
3.  Scientists at the Institute of Neurology in London have discovered that people who visualize a better future are more likely to bring that future into existence.
4.  A researcher at the University of Exeter published that people who consistently tell themselves that they can reach a goal are more likely to secure a positive outcome.
5.  When someone sees you radiating positivity, mirror neutrons in the brain of the observer cause that person to feel your positivity.
6.  Scientists in Atlanta have found that Limiting Beliefs are inherited.  This shows that you shouldn't be blamed for negative beliefs.  So, while you may have beliefs that are holding you back, you are not solely responsible for them.  (Although you DO have the power to overcome them.)

Pretty interesting, right?  YOU'VE GOT THE POWER!!

When you choose to begin and end each day with gratitude and appreciation, you are living positively, which means you are attracting positivity back into your life.  When we are appreciative and grateful for what we already have, we open ourselves up to more good things.  This is magical!

Appreciate what you have and who you are just as you are TODAY.  Take steps to better yourself and design your life.  The more you do this the more confident and capable you will become.  Celebrate all of the baby steps you take as well as the big leaps!  Be grateful for every little breath, feeling, taste and kindness that you see.  Make a place in your planner to write down a few things you're grateful for each day.  Recognize that you are on a journey.  You are a beautiful work in progress.

Perfection is not necessary.  With gratitude and appreciation, you will grow into a POWERFUL individual.

I am grateful for YOU.

Donna

When Change Happens TO You... (11-15-17)

Hello Beautiful.

I hope you are doing magnificently today!  Welcome to November!   To Fall!   To new,  fresh air and a time for new beginnings.  Beginnings chosen by you,  as well as those not necessarily chosen by you!   That is what November will he all about!  Embracing change!  

We've all had those unpleasant surprises happen to us.  And the fact that we've ALL had it happen SHOULD reassure you just a little bit that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  

Sometimes it's a job loss, a relationship loss, an unexpected need to move to a different location for any one of a thousand reasons, but these changes ARE going to happen in one form or another from time to time.  I also know you've heard people say this, "It's not what happens to us, it's how we react to it."  Ugh.  Clearly the change isn't happening to THAT person at the moment!  

First of all, I will tell you that the best way to get past the difficulties we are faced with is to get through them.  That means, don't bury your feelings.  Don't bury your beautiful head in the sand.  It wouldn't be fair to you to just power past your feelings as though they don't matter, because they absolutely do matter.  

Of course there will be things that you must get through.  You need to go to work.  You need to continue to pay your bills and take care of yourself and your family.  There will be times when you will feel like you need to act out a Scarlett O'Hara scene and say, "I'm not going to think about that now.  I'll think about that tomorrow." Just to get yourself dressed and out the door.  But...

When these moments show up for you,  please go easy on yourself.  Breathe.  Allow these feelings to bubble up to the surface.  Give yourself permission to cry, yell, jump up and down, bury your head under the covers!   Yes, you ARE allowed to FEEL.  And you need to feel.  By allowing yourself to feel your emotions, you help them to pass more quickly.  When you keep your emotions buried, you keep that bad energy boiling beneath the surface and as long as it's sitting down there, it will continue to effect you.  

Try to think of those bad feelings as waves on the ocean.  The water rises higher and higher as it reaches the shore, crashes and then flattens out and calms down.   When you're experiencing a painful situation, there is no way to deny that your feelings will grow stronger for a while, just like those waves.  The feelings will get to a high point, where you feel like you'll crash and burn if you don't put a stop to them.  But by allowing yourself the time to sit with the experience at that point, allowing yourself to FEEL how you feel, without judging yourself or judging what happened or placing blame, you will find that the waves will wash over your head and eventually smooth out for you.  They are just feelings.  Feelings change.  Just give them a chance to flow and pass. 

Please don't think I'm minimizing what you are going through.  Believe me, I have been there.  But I promise you that approaching change in this way will make it so much easier for you.  

You will need to take the appropriate action, meaning replace the job, or whatever else is necessary because of the change, but dealing with emotions the way I have described here will create a sense of calm and control for you.  You will thrive on that sense of calm and control.  

Knowing that you are managing the situation with grace and ease will be a confidence builder for you as well.  Once you've dealt with the difficult issue at hand,  what the hell can ever hold you back in the future???  NOTHING, my love.  Nothing at all.  

I, as your virtual coach promise you this:  You are one hundred percent equipped to do every bit of this.  You have the power and the ability to come out on the other side of the drama unscathed and more powerful than you were before it all happened.  Please,  please trust me on this.  

With love, grace and ease,

Donna  

And if you would like some information on how you and I can work one-on-one together, please email me at Curateddonna@gmail.com   

Changes... Time for a new job? (11-9-17)

Can you relate to this? 

For any individual who has even the smallest resistance to change, changing jobs can be an extremely dramatic event.  Combine that with the fact that starting a new job is one of the most stressful things you can do, and Holy Freak Out!

Let me tell you a story.  My story about choosing to leave the wonderful company I was working for and begin the search for a new job.  It was a very difficult decision to make.  I loved the company I was working for so much!  LeMetier de Beaute is a super high-end cosmetics company that is carried almost exclusively in Neiman Marcus.  So if I loved it so much,  why and how would I make this decision?  Let me share a little information with you. 

The retail industry as we have all known it is changing drastically.  There are people who feel that the change is just a cyclical thing,  but I've been in the industry for over 40 years.  It feels different to me this time.  

As social media and the internet become a bigger and bigger part of our lives, many consumers are no longer interested in shopping by physically going into a huge, high-end retailer, as has been the case forever.  This is partially because there is so much information available to everyone now.  People can get product information on brands they've never even heard of before,  from Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and You-Tube, just to name a few.  SO much information!  Information OVERLOAD! 

And to top it all off, with companies offering free shipping and free returns when customers shop their websites, their brick and mortar stores are becoming less and less relevant.  As employees, we are all expected to "make it work" so the large retailers can keep their doors open.  We are basically in a position where we're told, "It is what it is. Go sell something."  

My question is this:  Is that the way retail should be operating?  Is it the right thing for them to do?  I vote no.  I believe the online business of these retailers is cannibalizing their in-store business.  All of this information is what made me question where I am expending my 40 years of retail energy.  

The bottom line for me, was twofold:   First, I don't trust Neiman's to maintain their own business.  They are a financial mess.  Secondly, LeMetier was still remaining exclusive to Neimans - who wasn't ordering their products.  I was between two rocks and two hard places.  Sobehat's a retail professional to do?

Decision made.  Begin the hunt.

Yes it was scary.  At LeMetier, I was paid very well.  What if I couldn't find a company that would meet my salary requirements.  What if my resume was CRAP???  What if I'm too old to be considered for a decent position?  What if someone in my company finds out I'm looking for a job and they let me go before I find something else?  SO many things to be afraid of!  SO many things that make me unsure and keep me frozen in place!  AND...what if I allow myself to be frozen in place and don't take action?  What if I'm RIGHT and it really does all fall apart?  What if I don't begin looking for my next opportunity and show up one day to find the doors to the store bolted shut?

Wow!  THAT is a scary paragraph.  

I could choose to focus on the scary and unsure things that were running through my mind over and over.  That would lead me to rrnaining in place,  doing nothing.  When I think of remaining in place doing nothing, I felt pretty disappointed in myself.  THAT is not a good feeling.  And even if my decision would have been to stay in my current job, the reasons in that scary paragraph above are NOT good reasons to make choose to stay.  

I recognized that I could choose to focus on more positive ideas, such as what I really have to offer.  I chose to focus on all of the great things that I have to bring to the table of the company that chooses to hire me.  I actually wrote down all of the great things about moi!  Such as the many years of experience that I have.  My outstanding work ethic.  The diverse roles I've held during my career.  The fact that outstanding customer service means everything to me.  

Once I spent some time focused on my strengths, I felt a great deal more empowered to move forward and get myself started on the journey.  I made the best resume I've ever had.  I reached out to some of my mentors to ask if I could use them as references.  And once I started pulling all of this information together, I found it easy to keep going.  Some days it was baby steps and some days I made leaps and bounds.  

In the end, I did find a company that I was excited about.  I had two interviews and received a great offer that met all of my requirements.  When I put my notice in at LeMetier, it was with a combination of happiness and sadness.  I will always love LeMetier and I made sure I left on good terms with everyone.  

I have always said, always do the right thing when you leave a company.  You never know who your boss will be in the future!  

When you consider changing jobs, how do you feel?  I mean, how does it really feel in your stomach?  In your heart?  Yes, changing jobs is a challenging concept.  But if you do it correctly, you'll get through it.  

Focus on the positive.  Focus on what you have to offer.  I bet it's a great deal.  And believe me, there is life after your last job!

With love,

Donna

And if you'd like to find out how we can work one-on-one together, please email me at Curateddonna@gmail.com  

Chh...Chh...Chh...Chh...CHANGES!!! (11-1-17)

How did you like last month's Blog Theme?  Pitiful to Powerful.  October's posts were some of my favorite to write!  I live my life looking for things, ways, ideas, methods to make my life better.  To make my world a better place to live in!  You may have noticed that.  (Wink!) 

From admitting that we all love instant gratification, to deciding how we choose to show up for our lives, to learning to say no, to living with gratitude.  Following these steps is a great way to go from pitiful to powerful at warp speed!  

Yes, it's a first step, but that's why I love it!  Sharing with you the first steps that will provide real results and enable you to recognize that you do, indeed, have the power to design your life exactly the way you choose gives me great pleasure!   If I gave you even a glimpse of that, then I feel I've succeeded!!!   Pop, Fizz, Clink!  I will celebrate that AND YOU for taking those first steps.  

In November, I'm going to focus on a subject that will enable you to take the next step in the beautiful evolution of YOU!  The subject, you ask?  CHANGE.  Yes, change.  The one thing that separates the men from the boys - or in this case, the Chanel Boutique from the Dollar Store, the Tutu from the Gym shorts, is how we deal with the changes in our lives. 

Change.  It's a small word that creates the most  excitement...or terror,  depending upon how you choose to view it and handle it.  Change.  EEK!  

Well, this month, you're going to learn to embrace change.  You're going to learn how you can view change as your friend, your tool to empower yourself.  You'll learn to use the changes in your life as catalysts to pull you towards a life you've only dreamed of!  How does that sound?

Change is a funny thing.  All it means is that you'll begin doing things a bit differently than you always have, and yet, it's the one thing that so many people fight, hide from, and otherwise avoid like the plague!  

Think of it like this:  Turn right instead of left.  Take the long way home, rather than hurrying.  Wear exclusively what makes you feel like a princess, rather than any old thing hanging in your closet.  Wear a bright shade of lipstick, rather than the same old nude.  (and I'm talking about myself with the lipstick.)  

Think of it like this:  Change is an opportunity to do something differently.  It you've been doing things the same way for years and years, you might begin to think of change as a fresh start!  

Think of it like this:  When the company you work for makes the choice to run things differently and it means more work for you.  You may get to know that rumbling of your "panic" place a bit more intimately! 

Or like this:  You need to move away to another city - for whatever reason.  This means all new friends, restaurants, play groups for your children, finding your way around, starting over.  Are you beginning to feel the uncertainty yet?  

How about this one.  You lose you job.  Not because you deserved to lose it, but because you've been downsized, or your position has been otherwise eliminated and now you must find a new one!  OMG!!!  Get the resume together, begin networking, speak with your professional contacts, roll your eyes...   Panicking yet?  

Take a deep breath.  This month, we're going to be covering all types of changes and examining how you can embrace the changes that you may feel you have no control over and come out better on the other side.  Also, you'll learn how you can actually CHOOSE to make changes in your life that will enable you to curate your life into exactly what you want it to become!  

So get ready, my friend.  Now that you've learned to manage your time during October, it's time for your next step.  

THAT, my love is exactly what you'll be learning during November!  Get yourself ready.  Maybe get a notebook and a pretty pen.  Especially if change isn't something you look forward to!  Like I always say when I write to you, "You're going to want to take some notes!"

With love and Chh...Chh...Chh...Chh...Changes!  

Donna

And if you would like some information about how you and I can work one-on-one together to design your life, please email me at curateddonna@gmail.com and we'll get started right away!

 

How do You Choose to Show Up?

Hello Gorgeous!

How was your week?  I had a great one!  Lots of work, heaps of planning, tons of writing and now I sit on a Sunday. writing to you and listening to E.S. Posthumus Radio on Pandora.  Check this station out if you aren't familiar with it.  It is super-inspiring music for me, and I bet it will be for you, too. Let me know what you think of it!

So this week, we're moving on to STEP 2 of our Pitiful to Powerful journey!  I'm very excited about step two because I find it to be empowering in that it will enable you to DECIDE how you wish to show up every day of your life.

That's right my love, you get to CHOOSE how you show up!  If you read last week's post and spent the time examining your life, you may have found a few places that could use a bit of careful curating!  I know I did!  I examine my life and my performance every week, and there is always something or other that I'd like to improve. Remember, I'm on this journey right along with you! When reviewing the results of your efforts last week, where were your not so hot places? Bring them to the front, because we're going to take care of them right now!

Here are the questions I'd like you to ask yourself:

How would I have liked to show up?
What is the impression I'd like to make?
How do I want to feel while I'm interacting with the various people in my life?
Do I want to look successful?  Happy? Confident? Elegant?

These sound like easy questions to answer, but showing up exactly the way you want to can take some effort.  100% worth it, but some effort nonetheless.  Especially if you've never considered the subject before.  Each day you get to make the decision to be poised, pulled together, calm, or anything else that you choose. Once you make the decision, you can create that feeling in your life by managing the way you take care of yourself, the way you dress, the way you walk into a room. Being powerful is truly YOUR choice.  To make it work, you ask this simple question:

"What would a woman who feels (calm,  confident, etc.) look like, sound like, act like and dress like?"

I'm not suggesting that you change every little thing about yourself, because you are already pretty damn fabulous!  However, if you feel like you could improve the way you FEEL about your life, this is the way to go.  Remember that your feelings create your reality.  If you want to feel better, more empowered, more aware, more successful, the way to get there is to ACT AS IF. If you want to be more confident, take the time to learn what you need to learn and BE confident!

I've written in past posts that everything is energy and this is all part of it!  If you want to attract more success into your life,  you must begin acting as though you are already successful.  If you want to attract more calm into your life, you must put calmness out there!  If you want to attract more love into your life, you must begin feeling and expressing more love.  When you put these things out into the universe, they come back to you as more and more of exactly what you want.

So let's begin today!  Right now!  Let's walk the walk of a successful person.  Let's walk the walk of a confident person.  Let's walk the walk of a happy, caring, joyful and passionate person!

Think of someone, even if you have to imagine her, who has what you want!  Who walks into a room like she owns it and accomplishes her dreams and desires!  DECIDE who you want to be and GO BE HER!  I promise that once you begin this process, you'll feel great immediately!

Now let's get going!!!  There's more coming next week!

With carefully curated love,

Donna

PS!   If you'd like these messages delivered right to your inbox,  please enter your email address over on the  right!   And if you have questions or would like to learn how we can work together, feel free to contact me any time at CuratedDonna@gmail.com

YOU are Absolutely Worth it!

How have you found this month of Blog Posts?  As exciting as it is to create your dream life, make big girl decisions about what you want it to look like, edit in and out all of the things that make it possible to begin to live the life, occasionally I find someone who struggles with the exercises.  If you are that someone, this post is for you.

Today, I'm going to address the WHY concerning all of this.  Why is it so important to go through these exercises and spend the time building our lives?  Well first, let me ask you this question.  If you have a beautiful daughter or other young female in your life, or even if she's someone you work with. Wouldn't you advise this young lady to do everything she can possibly do to take care of herself, plan her dreams, and create the best life she can create?  Of course the answer to this is yes.  We want the best for others, don't we?

I want to challenge you with this thought:  Why not you?  Why the hell not you??  Don't you deserve to live your best life?  I believe you do.  I believe we all do.  This is what the past few blog posts have been about.  Dreaming, desiring, making plans, and creating the life you have only dreamed of.

We MUST respect this one, precious life we have been given.  Part of that respect is being grateful for what we have and making the most out of what we have been given.  We also must realize this one fact:  We cannot expect others to respect and value us, if we do not respect and value ourselves.
We cannot expect anyone to recognize our value if we don't even see it in ourselves.

So how do we begin to see our own value?  By nurturing our dreams and our desires.  By recognizing the value in those desires and doing all we can to bring our dreams into reality.  Any guilt or shame from past decisions MUST be put behind us so that we can move on and recognize our worth NOW. In the PRESENT.  The past means nothing other than the lessons we can learn from it.  Once we realize that, we are freed up to focus on today.  Right now.

Once we choose to fall in love with our lives, opportunities will show up for us.  We invite good energy into our world and everything opens up from there.  We must begin to focus on what we LOVE about ourselves and add MORE of what we love every single day of our lives.  This is how we create happiness in our lives regardless of what is happening around us.

You, my love ARE ABSOLUTELY worth focusing on.  You are important and you have a great deal to offer those around you, whether you see it right now, or not.  So go ahead.  Dream.  Dream more. Plan.  Edit in.  Edit out.  Make those little shifts and edits every day until you are living right in the middle of the life of your dreams.

When you begin to live a life that you are madly in love with, you will be irresistible to everyone around you.  Get ready for a huge amount of appreciation!  You deserve it!

With Carefully Curated Love,

Donna

PS!   If you'd like these messages delivered right to your inbox,  please enter your email address over on the  right!   And if you have questions or would like to learn how we can work together, feel free to contact me any time at CuratedDonna@gmail.com